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Soapbox Philosophy: Wild and wide-ranging writings
Op-Ed · December 18, 2014
Here we are again, and you’ve got to read the Christmas writings coming out in next week’s West Branch Times.
Here’s just a sample …
In case Santa didn’t know:
“Did you know that your elf is on my fan in the living room? He is just hanging,” writes one child. “He’ll come down when we go to bed.”
We received hundreds of letters, stories of adventures to the North Pole, Christmas memories and well-wishes that made us laugh out loud, made us think and wonder, and reminded us of the reason for the season.
How about this boy, who told Santa that he did not want any toys for Christmas: “All I want is for is for my family to have a good time and get stuff.”
Mom and Dad, get out the tissues, because there’s a girl who gets right to the point with Ol’ St. Nick:
“I have been a good girl, so please cure my grandma! I miss the way she was.”
If only sicknesses and cures worked that way!
In a few other letters, children wrote things that made me hope they grew up to be politicians, so I can vote for them:
“One more thing, if there are some people in the world that need food and water or homes, please give them some,” writes one.
“I would like an Xbox 360, maybe a toy robot and world peace …” writes another.
“I want you to give hope and peace to everybody,” writes a third.
“Most of all I want my family to be happy and healthy. Don’t forget, money doesn’t buy happiness!” said yet another.
Keep in mind that these children range from about 4 to 10 years old. The older children wrote stories.
“One day Santa was drinking eggnog all night, and he forgot to bring presents for every boy and girl. All the kids were very mad … But Christmas is not all about presents. It is all about God, Jesus, and religion.”
Whether they want extravagant gifts or not, most of the children figured Santa needs to get the job done no matter what:
“They walked to go pick up the gas from the store. It was 5 miles to the store. … They walked 5 miles back to the sleigh and they filled it up.”
And hey, even Santa can fall on hard times:
“Santa has a job at the bank and the next day he stole $1,000 out of Joe’s account. … At the end of Santa’s shift, he was happy that he finally had money to go buy toys and get new food and clothes … (but) Santa finally fell asleep and had a dream that someone stole money out of his account. … Santa went back to the bank and put the money back in Joe’s account.”
On the flip side, even bad guys have a soft spot:
“At 12:00 Santa Vader was delivering presents. When he couldn’t get into Luke Skywalker’s house he cut a hole with his lightsaber.”
From the If-You’re-Gonna-Dream-Then-Dream-Big pile:
“Then Hunter, Alec, and Kyle formed a boy band and played all over the world. They got so rich that they bought another city named HGV4B and any cool people lived there.”
Let’s not forget this is football season:
“I wish to get better players for the Chicago Bears. Second, have the Bears make it to the playoffs. Third, beat the Packers in the Super Bowl 100 – 0.”
FYI: The MVP was Matt Forte.
I’m with you, kid, on all three wishes.
Then there’s the, “Yeah, I was there, but the details are fuzzy” Christmas writings:
“After that, we go to my grandma’s church and sit to listen to the person who is talking.”
Then again, even details can leave you scratching your head:
“Mom would like $88, and I would like that, too, Santa!”
Some of these writings remind me of a time years ago when I used to pray that I would “earn my sleep.” So God made me a parent, and I can’t remember the last time I prayed that prayer:
“On that night Lanta took Bert’s presents!!!! Then Bert and his dad chased him down … then they got him in huge trouble and reported to Santa to give him a truckload of coal. … Then for a while Lanta didn’t do it until 70 years later he came back and took Santa away and replaced his workshop with a robot shop that stole all of the kids’ presents in the universe. … When Bert was 99 years old, he drank a super potion and turned into a superhero and made the evil Lanta disappear forever and Lanta never turned up again until his robots took over Christmas and took presents every single Christmas.”
Again, this is just a sample of the hundreds of writings turned into us. And I have yet to read them all.
Some of these kids seem sweet, other sound mischievous, and others sound like they long for adventure and daring and excitement and wonder. They want to be heroes, they want to engage their world in fantastic ways, they want to show off their smarts, their courage, their cleverness and their charm.
Just open up the section, read a few letters and stories and see if you feel yourself drawn in.
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